Porn addiction help article...
Many of your reactive emotions and compulsive behaviors including:
Feelings of fear, worry, despair, anger, stress, as well as addictions, you call your ‘issues’ are not really your issues.
They are merely symptoms stemming from...
‘ERRONEOUS CHILDISH CONCLUSIONS’…
Programmed deep within your subconscious mind’s BABY logic and reason DURING your childhood.
Baby Logic…ISN'T LOGICAL...
A baby lying in a crib may kick his legs and see the curtains flutter in the breeze. The baby makes a connection between the two, and assumes that the curtains fluttered because he kicked his legs. If the baby kicks again and the curtain doesn’t move, the baby may become frustrated because reality isn’t matching the pattern he thought it would—
…But the baby concludes that the curtains are working correctly, that he himself has made an error.
These erroneous subconscious conclusions are the REAL ISSUE.
Every troubling emotional experience, and habituated behavior, is held in place for a ‘reason’.
Without a reasonable cause your logical childhood mind would not have adopted the thinking/behavior in the first place.
AS AN ADULT
CHILDISH LOGIC AND REASON
CAN SABOTAGE YOU...
Have you noticed that…your attempts to dominate control or overrule your thinking and behavior with self-discipline or sheer willpower will not bring long term, sustainable results?
Do you know WHY?
Because you’re subconscious set your thinking or behavior up to serve a specific function.
Strangely…this 'function' (or ADDICTION CYCLE)…
Is your subconscious idea
of ‘Love and Safety’…
AS AN ADULT this cycle can be experienced MUCH like a Roller Coaster Ride…
Your childish thinking/behavior is an attempt to compensate for the erroneous conclusion you’ve made about yourself or your environment during your childhood.
YOUR JOURNEY TO FREEDOM STARTS IN YOUR MIND…
Lets start with UNDERSTANDING STAGE TWO SUBCONSCIOUS PROGRAMMING –
(18 MONTHS to 3 YEARS OLD)
As a developing toddler you begin developing skills that allow you to free yourself from your former bonds of complete dependency.
You learn to walk, to feed yourself, and to regulate your process of elimination through toilet training. You also learn to talk—the valuable skill of communicating and expressing yourself in words!
Your vulnerability during this psychosocial stage of development is directly related to HOW YOU ARE REGARDED, especially by your parents or primary care providers, as you move through the process of learning these skills.
This second stage of development (normally 18 months to 3 years) is about thinking, feeling, and constructing the pathways in your brain for problem solving. (Porn addiction help article)
The feedback you receive from the modeling of your caregivers as you exercise your newfound skills is significant—constantly providing suggestions as to HOW YOU SHOULD REGULATE AND REGARD YOURSELF.
During Stage Two you learn:
1. Whether or not you are valued as you express authentic feelings and independent thinking,
2. Whether or not you are valued as you make independent choices, and
3. Whether or not you are valued as you regulate and set boundaries for yourself (saying “No!”)
If you experience your Self shamed, unsupported, criticized or punished during this stage of development you may conclude this means something fundamentally ‘BAD’ about you.
In an effort to avoid this experience of Being Humiliated you may choose to adapt by REJECTING the very aspect within you that you perceive as criticized—your WILLPOWER. (Porn addiction help article)
You may also decide that, in order to achieve your desired results, you MUST MANIPULATE rather than EXPRESS YOURSELF AUTHENTICALLY.
Either well-intended effort to achieve your intended results, while protecting your vulnerable, emerging Self, may program and reinforce the flawed belief:
“I Am not valued as I express my Self, my Will, authentically in this world. My voice does not matter. I Am not able to get my needs met authentically. I cannot control myself.”
This conclusion is followed by a decision about your behavior, such as “I will adapt and do something different.”
For example: Your subconscious might believe...
“Rather than authentically expressing myself and my Will, I will control and manipulate my environment to get my needs met.”
Here is another EXAMPLE:
Your mother promises to take you to the store to get an ice cream cone when you are a young child. However you spill your milk at breakfast and your mother doesn’t take you to get ice cream as punishment for spilling.
As a child your subconscious could believe and program:
As an adult this program can create a ‘backup plan’ using sex addiction as a false sense of security and this becomes your False Identity.
RATHER THAN THE TRUTH:
I AM SUPPORTED AND APPRECIATED AS I AUTHENTICALLY EXPRESS MYSELF, AND MAKE INDEPENDENT CHOICES.
HERE IS ESSENTIAL TRUTH of Secret #2
THE TRUTH OF WHAT YOU ARE, IS SEPARATE FROM YOUR THOUGHTS. Your thoughts are ideas, opinions and notions about the Nature of Reality. Much of what you think is a repetition of what you’ve been told to accept as ‘true’. Some of what you’ve accepted as ‘true’ is actually ‘Not True’.
As you DELIBERATELY SEPARATE YOUR SELF from your thoughts, and observe them from a NEUTRAL, IMPARTIAL PERSPECTIVE you grant your Self the opportunity to detect, and challenge the flaws in your previously accepted programming.
As you OBSERVE AND EXPRESS YOUR AUTHENTIC EXPERIENCE YOU BECOME AWARE OF WHAT IS TRUE FOR YOU—You become aware of THE NATURE OF YOUR ESSENTIAL SELF.
THE SOLUTION as stated in Secret #1 is:
CONSCIOUSLY REPROGRAM A NEW, EXPANSIVE, LOGICAL CONCLUSION
Changing your flawed programming requires:
1. Opening your mind to the possibility that you’ve accepted limiting operations that are not necessarily true,
2. Locating the limiting program,
3. Challenging the truth of the program’s previously accepted limitations and
4. Consciously asserting and reinforcing your newly decided expansive conclusion.
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